Technically, I've been in the UAE for about 15 hours or so. 

I just figured I would wrap up the story of my arrival and make a few "first impression" observations. 

After spending the majority of Tuesday hanging out in the United lounge, I made my way over to the Etihad ticket counter (they didn't open until 5:30 PM) to collect my boarding pass.

Will wonders never cease, they didn't have any information on me. None. Apparently the look of horror on my face (which was the precursor to me finally cracking and killing people) was enough. She went ahead and issued me a boarding pass noting that "It would all come out in the wash".

I proceeded back over to the Swiss Air lounge. This time I had a boarding pass, but it didn't matter. It was the woman from the night before. The look she shot me told me how bad I looked. "Honey, you should go get something to eat, dinner was just served, and I will grab you a towel when you are done eating."

Dinner sure was served. I had meatloaf, broiled red snapper, herb potatoes, wild herb veggies, and three cans of tomato juice. I was in heaven. Then I made myself a bloody mary, grabbed my towel and headed off to the shower.

Nothing, nothing, feels better than a shower after spending 20+ hours in an airport.

Right as rain, I proceeded to chat online with Madeline until it was finally time to head off to the TSA checkpoint. More luck, business travellers have their own line, and more luck, no one gave me a hard time. Down to the terminal I idled for the next 45 minutes. 

The flight over was fairly uneventul, despite my best efforts I slept 8 hours straight (I really didn't want to), watched "Accepted", "Pulse", and the majority of "Open Season". The food was quite good, and the flight attendants were amazingly hot. Oh, and for the record, the only reason I watched "Pulse" was Riki Lindhome is in it. For 10 freaking seconds.

Deboarding and customs were a breeze. I mean, seriously, it took me less than a minute to get my passport stamped and collect my baggage.

Funny side story: I struck up a conversation with a girl while riding from the plane to the terminal (they drove us over, by twos, in BMWs). I mentioned how much I wanted a cigarette, she echoed the sentiment. I cracked a joke about the guy with the lighter always being popular outside an airport, and she reveals she smuggled a Zippo AND a Bic through JFK TSA. I kid you not. 

Meanwhile Madeline couldn't get her fucking LOTION through MYR TSA. What a load of shit I tell you.

Traffic in Abu Dhabi was a nightmare. Apparently, the UAE won some big soccer thing the night before, and everyone was still out celebrating. The guys who picked me up were telling me that the popular thing to do at intersections was rev your engine as loud and long as possible. Problem was, these kids kept blowing motors. Like in $80,000 cars. I barely believed it. 

Last night, unable to sleep, I stood and watched the intersection. I heard what sounded like gunshots. What do I spy? A hummer, covered in Green, Red, and White stars, smoking.

He blew the motor.

By the time I went to sleep, I saw/heard a total of three cars with blown motors.

Some observations:

The toilet in the hotel kind of sucks, and apparently it's the style I'd better get used to in country.
The countries Firewall blocks Flickr and AIM, so I've had to resort to an SSH tunnel.
The hotel has the most bitchin' tea kettle I've ever seen. It's a tea tray that plugs in, and there is a male jack on the tray that the kettle sits on. Water is boiling within two minutes. Wonderful.
MTV is set as the default channel on the TV, any time you turn on the TV, it goes straight to MTV. Funny in and of itself, but the videos themselves are just ridiculous. I saw one last night that is apparently very popular that sort of reminded me of a cross between "Fight for your right to party" and Ali G.

It's 11:23am here right now, and I am forcing myself to stay up until at least 6 today to try and beat the lag. We shall see.