Right now I am stuck sitting in the JFK airport for the next 22 hours, I'm exhausted, I have no money, and no hotel room.

And my bags are missing.

"Madeline" and I went to South Carolina Saturday morning to drop off the Mini for safe keeping. If you are new to the UAE saga, I am leaving (today, supposedly) for the United Arab Emirates for the next year to work.
As such, my grandmother has agreed to house Astro Mini, and my cousin has promised to start it up once a month. My hunch is it will have significantly more miles on it than when I left..

The day started fairly miserably. I had to drop Madeline off at the airport, which was very, very sad for both of us. Between new job / international travel / moving nerves, seeing her off made me want to puke.
After dropping her off, I wandered back to my grandmas with visions of sandwiches dancing through my head.

I couldn't eat a bite.

Instead, I decided to check my email. Urgent message from Don. Bring NyQuil and TheraFlu, three boxes each.
Apparently, you can get a cold in the Desert, and they are rocking them hard.

Feeling impatient and nervous, I decided we should leave at 12:30 for the airport (my plane was 2:16). CVS was empty and traffic was light, we made it there by 1:00, easily.

At some time around 1:45 we are informed that the flight is running a "bit behind". We were supposed to arrive in Dulles at like 3:30, instead we get there at 4:55. My connecting flight from Dulles to JFK? Boarding as we landed.

Fortunately, it was boarding two gates down, I ran and made it with ease. Problem?
They won't let me on the flight, it's "full".
Worries that I was going to miss my super important connecting flight in New York (the 13 1/2 hour one to the UAE) I start hounding the counter agent. She ignores everything I am saying and tells me to go to customer service at D5. A whole other concourse away.

Dulles doesn't have people movers (moving sidewalks), and it's a pretty good hike from C19...I ran.When I got to D5, they guy listened to the first 30 seconds and cut me off. I needed to be at the customer service area at.....ready for this? C20. Briskly, I walked back. The customer service rep there was very nice, but basically and idiot. He booked me on an 8:31 flight that would land in JFK at 9:30. Plenty of time to catch my INTERNATIONAL flight that boarded a...9:35.

I argued that that wouldn't be enough time, I had to collect my bags..how far were the terminals, etc. According to this schmuck, My bags would be moved to my next flight. I told him that I was pretty sure I had to re-check them. No, he assured me, all I had to do was hustle from one gate to the next.

I headed down to gate A5 (different concourse, different building entirely), and around 7:30 I started to think about it. If I got shafted on my connection, I would be well and truly fucked. I went to the customer service at A6. Sure enough, the guy there confirmed everything I suspected. I would not have time to make my connection, I did need to pick my luggage up, and they did fuck me.

There however remained some hope. I might be able to rebook on Emirates Air (I am booked on Etihad) and take their 11:11 flight. Worst case scenario, he tells me, I get put up in a hotel room and have a day to kill. Since I've been fucked before, I figured I could survive a night in a hotel.

I remained hopeful that I might be able to somehow magically catch the 10:10. The stewardess was even in cahoots, as soon as she could open the door, I was first person out. I ran, I mean I fucking RAN to the Airbus. Then I waited, and waited, and eventually made it to terminal 4. I checked my phone, 10:02, I might actually catch a break. Baggage be damned, I would file a claim and live dirty for a few days.

I got as far as the check-in counter....the plane was on the runway. I missed my flight.

So back I go to the United terminal. My baggage isn't there. Well, I reason, I will just have to get a room. I prepared myself for a little resistance, but what I was met with is appalling. Apparently, you see. Even though I had a late flight, and even though they WOULDN'T LET ME BOARD my fucking connecting flight, United was only obligated to get me to New York, and tada, I am in New York.

They refuse, REFUSE, to help. Repeatedly the phrases (and I quote) "This isn't our problem" and "This is your problem" are thrown around. I insist that I am staying in the fucking office until my next flight or until they got me a room. They informed me that I would have to leave at 1 when they close, or else. On my life, I swear that I was as calm and reasonable as any saint who ever walked the earth. I tried begging, pleading, and reasoning with these people. Nothing. I want to speak to a supervisor. Guess what? There isn't one. I shit you not.

One of the largest airlines in one of the largest airports does not have a night supervisor. At this point, I am livid. I don't know what else to do. Oh, and my luggage? Still not in New York. It's finally late enough to call my boss in the UAE. I have $15, no credit card, there are no other flights, and I am stuck in JFK.

Things don't improve much. My boss has a tidbit of advice. Turns out that Swiss Air has a lounge, for Business and First Class flyers. Turns out that Etihad Air is a partner of Swiss Air. I am also flying Business class.

The down side? They are closed from 11:30 until 4:00am. So here I sit, on the lower concourse of JFK Int'l Terminal 4, tired as shit, broke, sad, and pissed off at the world. With any luck, I can stay awake until 4am and go hide out at the Swiss Air lounge. I don't remain hopeful.