After liberating my people from the oppressive regime of the Izzikhastani regime, I, hanzo, have come to your country to help Los Toste Rebelli gain foothold in your democraptic society.

Read more, INFIDEL! As many of you may recall, during the revolution, I became close to a US of A reporter, Neilan Fenchurch. So close in fact that I was forced to kill him.

Upon his rising from the dead, I realized that with power such as his, nothing could stop the Los Toste Rebelli way of life from spreading throughout the world, eventually helping to build the underpinnings of a great society, and CRUSHING THE INFIDELS!

I knew I had to have this power, I followed Neilan tirelessly across the Izzikhastani desert, into a plane, then another plane, and eventually into La Guardia. It was a long, hard journey, and I can say that few people would have survived the hard ships I was forced to endure at the hands of the infidels (have you seen the size of the sodas they give you on those flights!? Inhuman!)

At some point, I lost sight of Neilan (I also lost his phone number) and I had to redouble my efforts. I read at least two newspapers a week, hoping to catch sight of his writing. Eventually I found him, he was in New Hampshire, reporting on the impending government overthrow. Apparently, in your country, you choose your Coup leaders.

This of course, could mean only two things.

1) I had to get to Neilan.

2) I had to be chosen as the General for the New Los Toste Rebelli US of A Uprising Committee (NLTRUSAUC for short). And I needed his help.

3) I would have to force him to hit the campaign trail with me to show me how to win and how your US of A Lazarus ability works.

THE REVOLUTION IS COMING! VOTE HANZO IN '04 OR DIE INFIDEL PIGS!