I was awakened this saturday night by my roomate Derek and my friend Josh. Hilarity and massive pain ensured. Read on for the goods. It just happened that this saturday I was completely sober and at home in bed by 11 because of lack of funds. We all know though that sleep is an endangered species when drunken friends are on their way back from the bar, especially when its Josh Croner. I kind of expected the wakeup call at 2:30 but I never expected the drunken debauchery that was about to ensue. It a fit of drunken retardedness Josh stumbles across my stapler. As the self mutilation ensued I could barely stand to watch. First Josh and Derek started with the arms. Then the legs. Then they got brave. The nipples had no chance. At this point they were both rolling in pain on the ground. Now at this point any normal person would stop but this is Josh Croner who is insane. The staples started flying. No body part was untouched. Tounges, foreheads, bottoms of the feet, knuckles. But Josh took even this one step farther. He then stapled the inside of his asscrack. You ask how much farther can this go. Well it can go and did go farther. Yes my friends ... the nutsack. Josh then stapled his nutsack to his leg. I was laughing but at the same time cringing in horror. And this was how my saturday night was spend. Staples and nutsacks ... whoda thunk it.