Some call it a double standard, but we here in Somerset prefer to call it a way of life. In fact, we pride ourselves on maintaining the highest double standard and wish to spread this knowledge to all others who are willing to learn.




Read more to lean the ways of mega studdom Firstly, and most importantly, when creating a double standard for your own life, you must remember one fact, you’re right and everyone else is wrong. That being said, most people think the double standard is somewhat of hypocrisy in practice, to them I say fuck you. Consequently, step two is learning to live with assholes that don’t share the view that everything you do is right.




Step two is a long and involved step. This step involves the transition out of normal douche bag toward full on double standard maintainer. One of the best aspects about the double standard is that you can completely fuck someone else’s house up but not worry about them doing it back. When you have mastered the double standard, you won’t need to cope with assholes because you just won’t care what they have to say. So, making it through step two is easy but troublesome. All one must do is learn to let yelling slide right through their ears and continue on the intended path when that fucker isn’t looking. This simple fact brings us to step three, the action step.




Step three involves doing whatever you please. If you want to strut around someone else’s party, completely naked, and sit down on their bean bag chair, feel free. For at step three you should be confident that you can pretty much do anything you please. Why you may ask, because fuck them, you’re right. At this juncture you must be willing to perform certain duties that not everyone will agree with, but who the fuck cares. Walk over to the host’s little sister and tell her to grab your friend’s ass. Shit, while you’re at it, have her join both of you in some three way action, making sure to high five during the finger cuff phase. After that, feel free to chug beer while simultaneously pissing in their (mother’s) favorite potted plant / sink / shoe. But remember, now that you are a full on bastard, you have to make the final hop into double standarddom.




Step four, don’t take shit from anyone. The fourth and final step involves you getting pissed off at anyone who mistreats your shit. This step is probably the hardest for a newbie to grasp. Sure, you fucked up the guys place just two days prior, but hey, this is your shit where talking here; you don’t deserve this kind of treatment from a fellow human being. Ergo, don’t ever hesitate to yell at someone for fucking your shit up, and by all means, bitch to your friends about what a prick that person was and how way out of line they were. But always remember the following key phrase, “Fuck them for fucking up my shit! I was right to demoralize their house and I think I’ll do it again next party!” With those great words of advice, you too can maintain the highest double standard.




-Chuck