Everyone has that friend. You know, the one that gets real drunk, and destroys a city block with Mothra like laser-eye beams. Not sure which one that is?

click read more to indentify your very own raging drunk

I can't tell you how many parties I have been at, where everyone is having fun, then that one guy has just a little too much. And Everyone knows he is going to get mean, you can just sense it. The trick is just figuring out which ones are going to trash your house and rape your pets, and which ones are just going to go sulk for a little while.

1. Do they have a green tinge to their skin and refer to themselves monosyllabically in the third person
?

2. Did they trash your place last weekend?

3. Did they just kick you in the balls and laugh about it while anally raping your mother(s)?

4. Do they refer to themselves as "Casey Jones" and carry sporting equipment?

5. Did they just watch the "super deluxe directors brothers all french edition" of "Meet Joe Black"?

6. Are they from Somerset?

If you answered yes to any of these, they are going to trash your house.

I think its pretty obvious with most of these why they would want to trash a house, but Somerset? Let me tell you sissy pants, we are hardcore. We are the surliest, loudest drunks around. We know this for a fact. If we find anyone more belligerent, we beat them up.

We also happen to be some of the funniest people around.

That's right. Somerset will fuck your shit up. We drink like we have nothing to lose, and if a few houseplants have to be beaten into submission to prove it, well then we'll do it. Twice.

I think its a well known fact that when you invite a person from Somerset, we are all coming. And we aren't asking either. We will drink all of your beer. We will hit on your girlfriends/mothers. And we will probably break something by the end.

But, it's a fair trade, because we let you tell the story about "that time all those people from somerset showed up". And thats how it works too. You don't know when we will be there. You don't need to know. But, oh, the stories.

This article was inspired by hearing someone I didn't really know talking about how he remembers when "Somerset" showed up at his party. I get the feeling that he was a little pissed at the time, but now he seems to enjoy telling the tale.